Creative Writing Group

22 October 2020

Trigger:

Favorite family member…

Most memorable person…

Someone I’d love to meet….

Hope for Humanity

What makes someone memorable or special or remarkable? What are the qualities, the aspects that make some people stand out in the minds of others? How does it happen that some individuals, regardless of background or preparation or intelligence, have a ripple affect on those around them and the world? If I had the answer perhaps it would be possible for anyone to become famous or special or memorable However, I think it is rarely so easy. I can only speculate which is something I rarely do as it that means making determinations based upon assumptions and interpretations, not facts and reality.

However, what might be a list of qualities be that makes someone memorable enough to stand out to me as an individual or to the world as special. I would start with having a clear sense of self so that you are your own person not dependent on the crowd or the claque to buoy you up. This also would require being serious without taking yourself seriously.

My father, Jim, was such a man. He was an engineer, everything had a reason, an order. And life was like that for him. You put in your time and effort and commitment. You do your job as best it can be done. He knew that if he screwed up his work, people could be injured or killed so you’d best know your stuff and not take shortcuts. It was never about the money but about doing things the right way. I guess the right phrase would be integrity. His honor and honesty were key to his being. Yet at the end of the day, he would sit on the floor with his grandkids, put on silly hats, and play with them at their level. He knew who he was so it did not matter if it might appear ridiculous for a grown man to play being childish. He gave me a sense of stability and love and support for leading my own life as I wanted as long as I acted responsibly and cared about others.. And at the end of his life as he battled dementia, I tried my best to play that role for him.

Another such example of a person of stability and integrity in my life was my dearest , and too soon departed friend, Ray. Ray was born a sharecropper son in Arkansas just after the war. On his own from age 13 he had to be responsible for himself and his actions for the rest of his life. That sense of care and concern extended then to all with whom he came into contact. He did not judge, he was an example without having to tell others how to live their lives. He felt everyone he met was his equal. That allowed him to exist in circles high and low without ever putting on airs or feeling better, or less, than anyone. He did not base his opinion of others on their outward manner or image or background or education, but on the character they had underneath.

I met Ray after leaving University and Ray had just come back from serving in Vietnam. I was trying to make my way in life and he was starting to get back into life after the military. His perspective on the world could not have been more different than mine. His common sense, decency, tolerance and generosity set a standard for me to try and live up to as his friend. I never wanted to let him down. And actually, the point was, he would not have let our friendship suffer had I committed a major error in my life. His friendship was so important to me however, that I always thought long and hard about doing the right thing. In the 22 years of our friendship before he was taken by cancer, I knew I had someone, that I could totally count on under any circumstance. All I had to do was call, and he would have been there for me. And in the almost 30 years since his death his presence remains fixed deeply within me.

Another trait that I find in special people is a sense of humor about self and the ridiculous in life. The ability to laugh and keep a perspective on what is real and what is false is something I have admired since my youngest days. It was given me by my dear great aunt Maude who lived next door to us for the first 13 years of my life. Her love a a joke and ability to poke fun at pretentiousness was instilled in me by many years of sitting with her in her kitchen, telling silly jokes, or making up stories about a drawing we would do. We often listened to the comedy radio shows of the era. Her laughter would start with a giggle, going to a cackle to a full throated “hee, hee, hee” stays in my memory to this day. Then, as she would cook dinner, the radio would be tuned to the nightly news. Her running commentary about the crooks and the grifters and the old fools who made up the days news, passed to me a hearty skepticism about the pretenders and the clowns who try to control our lives. In one sense, the last 4 years have been the culmination of a lifetime of being on the lookout for those who try and scam the public for their own benefit. Thank you “Aint Maudie”.

The comedian/commentator on life George Carlin, was someone whom I never met yet followed and appreciated intensely for taking those skills of my Aunt and turning them into a lifetime of pointing out the inanities of modern life and those who purport to impose their will on the public. Following in the genre of Mark Twain, Carlin devastatingly skewered the hypocrites and the sanctimonious around us from politics to religion to our culture and society. His ability to see through sham and artifice, made me laugh and think at the same time. And after thinking, the laughter would stop and the amazement that we allow ourselves to be trapped into mindless pursuit of things or ideas who do not have our best interest as a people at base. His passing has left us bereft of a modern equivalent who can punch through the overwhelming atmosphere of lies and tropes spewed out by wing nut politicians, pundits and pontificaters in power. He is sorely misse

There are so many others who have dedicated their lives to the betterment of the human condition that could also be on any list of special people who have influenced our lives even if from a detached connection. They combine selflessness, intelligence and dedication to a cause that leaves the world better because of them. Lincoln, Ghandi, FDR, Churchill, MLK, Mandella are of one type. In contemporary time, I consider Obama to be well within that pantheon of true leaders who bring their personality and values in service to the public.

Culturally there are artistic giants such as Aeschylus , Shakespeare, Dickens, Beethoven, Armstrong, Steinbeck, the Beatles. All have left a mark on on me and my appreciation for how art can shape lives, generations and history. All are people I would have liked to sit down to dinner with or shadow them as they think and create. They have transcended the human condition with their vision and their work in a way that brought a fundamental shift in the way society thinks, creates and sees itself.

Another way humankind has been advanced are through those who found breakthroughs in science and medicine: Hippocrates, Aristotle, Pasteur, Fleming, Nightingale, Curie, Einstein, Freud, Salk and the list expands exponentially into recent times. All are individuals who combined intelligence with dedication and selflessness to make the next generations healthier and aware of the world in which we live.

It would be wonderful to sit at the knee of any one of those people to find out what drove them, what insights they learned and how we can continue to advance as humanity. In this age of the internet, we do have access to their work and their writings and what others thought of them. That is not the same as being able to be with them and observe their humanity and personality and how they were at home and at table and with friends and children.

So what makes a special or memorable person to me? From those I have known personally and those whom I have studied or observed, I believe there are some commonalities. It starts with a sense of self not self importance, of fair play and integrity to ones true being. The ability to see the humor in life and laugh at it’s foibles and be able to have fun as well as be serious. They had a vision of what could be not just an acceptance of what is. They had a sense of selflessness, of something they could create and share with others. And maybe, they also have a sense of optimism, that things can get better and that each of us can contribute in some way to that happening. While hope does not make things happen, without it we are mired in the gloom of nothing ever getting better. It is my hope and belief that there are billions of humans on this planet who share these attributes. I look forward to meeting them.