2 July 2020
Trigger: Lost and Found
The lost property office at Waterloo station
Decree Nisi (legal term for the final divorce settlement document making it official)
‘We were beaten by the better team….’
I remember this place…..
Riches to rags in three generations ( had a friend who said that to me!”)
Finding the source.
Lost and Found
Honey, where are my keys?
Wherever you left them.
Thanks, but if I knew where I left them, then they wouldn’t be lost.
They’re not lost, you’ve just not yet found them.
But they were right here just a minute ago.
I promise you. I never touch your things. And I didn’t see them there.
Oh, where did you see them?
I didn’t see them. I just know they they weren’t left there.
Well, I can’t go to the store until I find them.
Use the spare set.
Where’s the spare set? Anyway, my house keys are on the same ring.
I’ll be here. I wont go anywhere so you wont need your house key.
But what if you do have to go somewhere, then I wont have a key to get back in.
I’ll call you and tell you where I’ve left the spare key.
Oh right… uhhh, have you seen my phone?
I saw it on your dresser this morning.
I was just up there looking for my keys. I didn’t see it up there.
Ok, I’ll call your phone and that will help you find it. Be quiet for a minute.
I hear nothing. I must have forgot to turn my phone on this morning. You know I can’t stand it beeping with messages and stuff during the night.
You never get messages, you dont write or text anybody.
Well, you know I opened that stupid “you have just won the lottery email” and I forgot to delete the link so now they send me all kinds of come-on’s at all hours. So I turn my phone off.
You didn’t win the lottery. It was a scam. I told you not to open it.
Well, it looked real. It said it was the official lottery site.
Yes, the official lottery site of Nigeria. And you believed it was legit.
It could have been. And what if we really had won the lottery? Wouldn’t that be great.
What we won was having to change all your passwords and informing family and friends your contacts list had been stolen and to ignore all the emails sent by the scammer under your name,asking them to send money to help you claim your lottery winnings.
It wasn’t so bad. I don’t have that many family or friends.
Not any more. Remember how pissed off they were because now they are getting the same emails and when they opened the fake email from you, the virus attached to the email also broke into their address books too.
I forgot about that. And hey, they should have updated their passwords more frequently. That’s not my fault.
So why don’t you go look on the dresser for your phone. That’s where I saw it this morning.
It’s not there, I just looked. And anyway, I took it outside with me while I drank my coffee this morning so I could read the news.
Then maybe you left it out there.? Why don’t you go look.?
No, I’m sure I didn’t leave it out there. It started raining and so I came in and finished my coffee here in the kitchen. Do you see it in here?
No, I don’t see it in here. Do you remember reading anything in here when you came back in?
No, I just had a little coffee left and then went to take my shower.
So have you looked in the bathroom? Go look.
OK, if you think I should but I mean, why would I leave it in there?
Just go look!
I’m back… and it wasn’t in there, I told you it wouldn’t be in there.
What did you do after you took your shower?
I shaved.
I mean after that.
I went up to the bedroom and put on my clothes.
So maybe you left it on the dresser while you got dressed. That’s where I saw it.
I told you, I looked on the dresser for my keys and it wasn’t there.
Were you in any other rooms in the house today other than the kitchen, the bathroom and our bedroom.
Don’t your remember, I told you I went out onto the porch. You sure are getting forgetful.
This isn’t about me. I suggest you start over and go back to the bedroom and retrace your steps.
Couldn’t you help?
What do you think I have been doing? I’m trying to get you to remember where you left it.
If I could remember, it wouldn’t be lost.
It’s not lost, you just haven’t found it yet. Now, go up to the bedroom and start again, I have a hundred things to do here in the house that aren’t getting done.
[Some minutes later]
Heyyy!! Guess what?
What?
I found my keys.
Great. Where were they.
On the dresser— next to my phone.
At least now you can go to the store. Do you have the list?
What list?
The one I gave you to know what to get at the store.
Oh, that one. I don’t remember where I put it.
Check your pockets.
Oh right, here it is. It’s in my back pocket, right where I left it. See how organized I am.
That’s terrific. So now, go.
I can’t.
Why?
I put the list in the pocket where my wallet goes. But its not in there. I don’t know where I left it. Have you seen it?
There’s only one thing I’m looking forward to seeing?
What’s that?
The official copy of my Decree Nisi!